19 weeks. 

Baby #5 is growing well. Mommy is doing well. Kids are all handling it all OK. Daddy is still in shock.

BLUE, blue is the color of baby #5. 

Yep, another boy. 

Yep, we laughed. 

Yep, Mackenzie is still the only girl. 

Any other silly questions? 

June 15th, 2014

Mackenzie, a month from 12. 

Luke, 9 yrs

Mason, 5 1/2 yrs

Levi, 3 yrs

Baby! 

Perspective

It is all about Perspective.
As I heard a comment TWICE in ONE day. .....
I had to see the Perspective.
What you say was this comment?
Oh, I'm a gonna tell you.
(PS. YOU, I am not upset. I swear)
"Oh, My cousin is due in April and she is about as big as you". (I'm due in JUNE!!!)
Followed a few hours later by:
"How far along are you? about 6 months or so?" (new acquaintance)
Me:  "huh, uh, well, nope. Ah, well about 6 LEFT"
Hey people. This is the SIXTH time I have stretched out my tiny housing unit.
(but this need not apply, I was just as huge the first time LOL)
God truly does make all kinds. You will all get quite a kick out of just HOW big I can get.
I don't mind. I really don't. If. I. Did. I. Would. NOT. have. Done it. again!
Think about that. ... (no, not that much).
You think I don't know!
If I did not want to HOUSE another HUMAN ...... I would not be.

As I tried to dress the new baby-bump for a delightful wedding. (the same day as the Huge comments)
I struggled to find something "flattering".
I simply have Nothing to wear.
HELLLLO!
No one cares what I wear to the wedding. IT IS NOT ABOUT ME>
Dear Bride. It is about YOU.
I am so glad You invited us to your special day. I do not care what I wear. I know it is your day.
My sweet husband and my delightful daughter reassured me that I looked "fine". (geez, thanks)
It is not about my wardrobe,
It is not about my months, (size)
It is not about ME.

What is YOUR perspective?
Is it about YOU?
Does it always have to be about you?
Do you put others first?
Is it really true that you have nothing to wear?
PERSPECTIVE>

To GOD be the GLORY for great things HE has done.

God bless the marriage of Luke and Sarah T.
It was beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!
and I did have something to wear.
I did look "fine".
Actually, I looked pretty good.
Confidence is pretty.

PALMER BABY # 5

Surprise?!

Palmer baby #5 is due

June of 2014. 

Black pages

As I posted my first NEW post..

I saw my BLOG background is Black. 

It seems almost fitting. 

It sounds a bit morbid. 

HOWEVER>>>>>>

New beginnings come from darkness. 

but after the darkness.......

comes the ......

LIGHT>>>>

Our new Adventure!

You just never know what life will throw at you yet.
I used to write.
I did.
I used to journal. I used to "blog". I used to.
Then I had a miscarriage.

I don't know what happen to the writing. The writing stopped.
Was it that I could not write it down?
Where had my writing gone?
I have very few posts since Levi was born but the writing stopped before that.
My miscarriage was in November of 2007.
Yes, it has been a few years.
Where has my writing gone?
I can, in no way, get caught up.
So here we begin anew.

My newest adventure. ..... Lord, if  you are willing, May I have my writing back?

Mason on an appetite "increasant"

Mason on appetite "increasant"
9:40 pm.
In a "benedryl, type stupor"

In reference to a "go to bed" (again) request countered with an "I'm hungry" whine.

M: " but daaaadddd,  I NEEEEEEED to eat something. I need a popcicle-> it has TONS of protein and I need protein."
Dad: "No Mason it does not have tons of protein---it has tons of sugar"
M: "No Dad, I NEED PROTEIN! What else can I eat? "
Dad: "a cow. THAT has protein."
M: "do we have any cow?"
Dad: "no but we have milk and milk comes from cows!"
M: "Chocolate milk???? does it have tons of protein? Cuz I neeeeeed protein"
Dad: "Do you know what protein does? "
M: "yes, it makes your brain grow, mommy said"


Mason 4 years and 2 weeks. He is my smartest baby ever.

Shingles at 35

I have been ill. I have shingles. 

As I am in pain, struggling through my day, I have had lots of time to think. I have been thinking of all the people I know with "invisible chronic diseases". I have been thinking of those with chronic pain. I have been thinking of people with no health care (no political statements here). I have been thinking of all the days of countless blessings God has given me. I have been thinking of the great year of pretty good health my family has had this past year.  I have been thinking of the family friends we know with children with cancer! Oh, Lord, Bless them. 

I sat down to my computer in my lazy, I don't want to do anything, read FB moments, and I opened a friend's blog. It was titled "Just me". She states she is lots of things to lots of people but here in this blog she is "just her". I began to think, "who am I?" I don't know who I am. Just me. Who am I? I don't know what I do in my spare time. I don't know what my hobbies are. I don't know what my favorite movie is. I don't know what my favorite book is. I feel a little lost. 

I know, I know, I know, I know, I have a husband (who has pneumonia right now, by the way. Dude! I have shingles, could you have waited until I was done being sick before you started getting pneumonia, please!)  I have a 10 yo (next week),  I have a 7 yo, I have a 3 yo, I have a 1 yo, I have chores, I have responsibilities, I have people who count on me. I have plenty to DO. I am always busy. But I wonder, is there more to ME? 

I sound so selfish. I am me. I am all those things. But I can't answer the basic questions. I don't read--so what books do I like? --well, I have no idea. I don't go to the movies--so how do I know what is on these days? I don't Pinterest. I don't do art. I don't do crafts. I don't cook/bake (when not required to do so). I don't go shopping. I don't go on "girl time" dates. My room is a mess and it bothers me. I clean the entire house but not my room. 

So, here I go.... I embark on a mission..... I shall find myself. Please pray I find myself close by. I don't want to get lost out there in the scary world. Please post on here or FB any good SMALL project to try or books to read, (make the books fun and SHORT, library or borrowed). Ask me any questions that I might need to answer in order to find myself. I will try. I will. 

I do like to write. But I don't ever do that either. I like to speak on Missions. I like to speak about parenting. I like to encourage. Hum, we might be on to something............................

July 2, 2012

Confirmation/Affirmation

If we follow the Leader, He will confirm/affirm us. 

As I search for my place, my position, my soil to bloom in, 

I ask questions, I pursue, I dig.

Some days it seems useless, 

Some days it seems like time is not on my side. 

And as a faithful servant, 

The affirmation comes by way of the most unexpected source,

YOU! My peers. 

Thank you dear friends for following God's lead and the prompting of the Holy Spirit, 

In your affirmation. 

You will never truly know the impact you have had on my life, 

In just those few spoken words of encouragement, discernment, prophecy and love. 

Not answers, not expicit direction, not details, 

but just the words I was supposed to hear, 

at the time I was supposed to hear them. 

 

YOU are a blessing to me. 

Thank you for doing YOUR part in my life. 

April 2012

 Levi James Palmer March 30th, 2011

 Look how tiny my feet are!

 The Monster and the Frog

April 2011, Waco, TX

Haughton LA

We now call Haughton Louisiana home. Haughton is a lovely place just outside of Shreveport/Bossier City Louisiana. I have no idea how big or small it is; I only know how blessed we have been all the way from beginning interview til even last weekend at Jeremy's ordination service. The service was fantastic! We are so blessed!

One year later

To say it has been a while is an understatement! I am not sure how time got away from me like this. Then again so many things have happened...how shall i even  catch up? For now I will blame facebook. Lets start with pictures of Levi James Palmer. Born March 30th 2011. 2:55 am. 6 lbs. 4 oz. 19 3/4 inches.

Dissatisfaction:

Is your dissatisfaction a jumping point for sin or for success?

Joshua 7, Achin

(Kyle Cox, 3.20.11, Highland BC)

Achin's sin started with his "dissatisfaction with the manner in which God had ordered the affairs of his life".

Achin's sin was:

Demonstrated in his covetousness and his disobedience. 

Resulting in his deciet in stealing objects and hiding them (guilt), 

Consequences his whole family dies, and

the entire tribe of Israel loses the battle of AI. 

 Are we more capable or satisfied with our own ability to set order to our lives than the God who set the boundaries of the oceans and the land and the heavens and the earth?

Give me my own inheritance and let me go my own way.

Pagans run after the newest and best of everything, 

they worry about what they will eat or drink tomorrow, 

a worthless result. 

 What part of God's will do you push back against?

God orders our lives just as He sees fit,

with our best interest in mind and the big picture. 

When we live outside of that plan, 

the grass is always greener elsewhere. 

Dissatisfaction in and of its self is not sin.

Is your dissatisfaction a jumping point for sin?

Is your dissatisfaction a reminder to refocus on HIM and reach for Christ?

Achin was dissatisfied with is life.

40 years in the desert will do that to a person!

He justified his actions against God's commands, 

The consequences were dire. 

Are you so dissatisfied with your life that you take matters into your own hands? 

Are your hands better equipped to satisfy you? 

Really?

God feeds the birds and the flowers,

He set the oceans and the land apart,

He made the heavens and the earth,

His plan is way better than anything YOU can come up with on your own. 

Do you trust him? 

Are you dissatisfied with where HE has PUT you?

Wake up people!!

If you are IN HIS will, 

There is NO WHERE else that is GREENER. 

Stop dreaming.

Live in the present. 

NOW. 

God really does have your best interest in mind, 

Trust HIM. 

March 2011

(great lesson in SS today, just had to share)

ETA: 20 days

ETA: 

20 days. 

Ha ha ha

Like they even know when babies arrive. 

March 2011

9 months pregnant---Forced to Slow Down in a Fast Paced World.

How slow can you go?

Life is a bunch of fast pace races,  separated by a minimal night's sleep, only to begin again the next day. 

I was driving my car-- Slowly. Life racing by me. I take my time to get everywhere. I waddle in and out of stores and doctor's offices. I PLAN ahead and give myself several extra minutes,--even to stand up and "re-align" my hips before I dash off to get the kids from their classrooms at church.

During the precious time of gestation, God provides a drastic reduction in function. 

Strange, we say. Should we not function at our best during this time?

No, the answer is No. 

To function at our best, we actually must function at our worst. 

What? That is crazy!

This re-aligns our priorities. What are your priorities? 

In this case, our own personal health and the life we are responsible for. 

When we simply have to slow down, we learn to appreciate each and every task and the energy required to do each task.

Taking the time to wake up, go to the bathroom every hour, and then get up and function the next day is God's way of preparing us to focus. 

What are we focusing on?

We are to focus on what is really important. Really. Important. 

Our next task will be the sole feeder of a tiny defenseless infant. 

If we can't get up and pee every hour without getting angry and bitter......How, then, shall we get up every 2 hours and sit for 40 minutes of the next hour to Calmly feed our helpless babe? Only to repeat this every 2 hours, day and night for several weeks/months and get up and function the next day?

Nope, not exaggerating. 

I will be asking God about this when I get there. It is not nice. God's purpose is supreme. 

Thank you for preparing us......(even though I don't agree with you).  

March 2011 (baby due in approx. 20 days).  ha ha ha.....

Our Focus

Each day we wake up. 

Each day we are given a choice. 

Is today going to be a good day or a bad day?

The question is not:

"are my life circumstances better or worse 

than someone else's?"

There are SO many people out there, 

and even SO many people so close to us,

who's life circumstances are worse than ours. 

What is our focus?

Does our day suck more than your day?

Does our day suck more than yesterday?

Are we going to let our day suck at all?

Permission:

We do have permission to have a bad day. 

We do not have permission to be ugly about it. 

We have permission to "be in the dumps" for a moment. 

We do not have permission to "stew" on the moment. 

God calls us to rejoice, have faith, and trust in HIM for the future. 

No matter what the "level" of our "bad circumstances". 

In all reality, there is always SOMEONE, 

who "has it much worse". 

Where is YOUR focus?

February 2011

In Faith....

In Faith, 

I am packing my whole house. 

In faith, 

I am telling my children that we will move in June after school is out.

In faith, 

I am accumulating baby things,

with the assumption that all will be well and baby will be born healthy and on time.

In faith, 

I am giving my daughter "scary" medicines in hopes that they will improve her quality of life.

In faith, 

I move about my day intentionally. 

I am moving towards a goal that is unknown and uncertain. 

It is ridiculous to Assume we will get a great job straight out of seminary. 

In this economy, who are we kidding?

(God specializes in the ridiculous.)

In faith, I stand, the plan is God's. 

the chore to follow through is mine. 

LET'S GO GET 'UM!!

(can you tell they are still asleep as I write?)

January 2011 

The Power of Relationship

The power of relationship is the dividing line. 

Do you think you have the "right" to say certain things to certain people, 

Just because, you have a certain kind of relationship with them?

I can say "you stink, you need a shower" to certain people.

But if I said that to others, they would be offended. 

Relationship matters. 

Can we trust God?

YES. 

Is it easy to trust God?

NO.

What is the role of relationship in this trust/ease factor?

If we have a consistent relationship with God, 

Then it is easier to say "I don't trust that this will be OK". 

And, guess what?

God understands that. 

He does not condemn us for "oh, ye of little faith" moments.

However, if we do not have a consistent relationship with HIM, 

It is much easier for us to fall into the category of:

"I don't trust"
and mean it. 

Thus spiraling into the depths of despair. 

The only thing that keeps us afloat is THAT relationship. 

How is my relationship with God right now?

Do I trust HIM enough to say "I am having trouble trusting you?"

and KNOW firmly that HIS plan is big enough?

January 2011

Pain?

What is Pain?

What is painful to me vs, what is painful for you?

How much pain is good to share?

vs. How much pain shall we "endure" alone?

My heart is breaking for some friends. 

Is their pain worse or more important than my pain?

Do I "dwell" in their pain to escape the pain in my own world?

The comment:  

"Don't worry, everything will be fine. Give it to God"

Does that just cover it and now it is over?

If we pretend like it does not exist,

Then, is it still happening, is it still real?

If we become overtaken by fear,

are we less of a Christian?

Do we have less faith?

In the quiet moments in the middle of the night, 

who reigns?

Shall we let our minds wander to the point of exhaustion?

Or do we go straight to the source of all comfort?

IMMEDIATELY.

January 2011

30 weeks and counting

When can you start counting down, instead of UP?
Our prayer is to make it to 37 without any baby growth problems.
We wish for baby's umbilical cord to grow adequately to sustain the needs of baby until 40 weeks.

Anti-Equality

I have always been "anti-equality."

What does that mean to me?

Well, I am not sure when it started really. It may be as far back as childhood to some degree. It may be a more recent, college, newly married, experienced thought. I am just not sure. 

I do know that our experience as houseparents of "under achieving, high potential" (read: troubled) teenagers in the Dominican Republic has changed, reformed or solidified my belief systems. 

We had SO MANY parents say things like: "I don't know what happened. We treated all our kids the same and his/her siblings are not on this path to destruction"!! 

The program in the DR was centered around a new approach: INDIVIDUALIZED "treatment/care".  Go figure, they are individual teens with individual personalities and problems that come from individual backgrounds and have individual paths in life. 

In general, America is a very Individualistic country. 

We tend to think as one person, separate from everyone else. This is why I think equality is so strange in America. 

Most countries are more "community", communal. Villages are held together by the bond they share as a family or group of families. Villages are held together by the common good and the common crops and the common beliefs and the common "religion". 

In America, we all want to be Different and at the same time we all want to be "just like our group of friends". Yet our parents and extended families "treat us the same" as the other sibling/cousins, and expect our lives to turn out "the same". 

My goal is not to "fuss". But to figure out how to be a "better parent" to each of my INDIVIDUAL children. 

My equality issues have been on my mind during this holiday break as I have interacted with my children in different settings. Mackenzie (MJ) is in 2nd grade, learning to read and to be independent, 8 1/2 years old and a FEMALE. Luke is in Kinder and learning to argue the finer points of details and pretends he can read. He is almost 6 (aaaahhhh!) and all BOY. Mason (MW) is all of barely 2 and speaks very clearly what he does and does not want, in complete sentences and mostly complete thoughts. And all BOY. 

Now, I know the two older ones are "different gender" so that makes things different for me. But, *"?does an 8 yo girl and a 5 yo boy need to eat the same quantity of the same foods?"

*"Is it possible for one to need a snack to simply 'survive' the day? and a snack would 'ruin' dinner for the other one?" 

*"Is it not obvious that the little guy needs different 'amounts' of Christmas candy than the other older two?" *"does one need a nap? the other a 'rest'? and the other 'alone-time'?"

 *"does one need allergy medicine or glasses or antibiotics or more rest or less quiet time...?"

How can we treat our children "the same"? and get different outcomes. 

Now, men and women. 

Did God make men and women equal?  and by "equal" what does that really mean?

Should women get paid the same as men for doing the same work?

Is it possible for women to sustain the same level of Physical labor as a man?

What was God's plan when he made us Man and Woman?  If we were the same, then why would we need each other?

 It is our responsibility as parents to learn what EACH child needs and then apply it to the relationship. MJ NEEDS quiet time (alone time).  She gets overwhelmed and begins to "crisis". Alone-time is the "medicine" for this.  Luke is always ready to play with someone, however, if he does not get a few (15) minutes of "downtime" in the day, by evening he is "crabby". We are still working on figuring out Mason but he does have a very good "nap" or "crib time, lights out" during the middle of the day. Too much TV makes them all "lethargic". And a firm "go play" (as in leave me out of it), is very easy for MJ and very difficult for L. 

(he is learning.) 

I need my alone time. (Like alone, w/o kids too. This does not happen often). My hubby needs to "talk it out". (about everything...drives me nuts).

I don't mind stepping over the toys in the hallway. Jeremy steps ON them. I Require many hours of consecutive sleep. Hubby can 'run' on just a few. 

Just like we MUST learn what we, as parents/people, NEED to function, so too we must learn what our children need for them to grow up to be the persons God intended them to be. 

What makes you "tick"?  What do you need to survive the stresses of daily life?

What is your "hobby", your "get away"?

Now, what makes each one of your special children "tick"? What do they need to survive the stresses of family/school/siblings life?  What is it that they need from you as a parent?  and more than just that, what does each one need from EACH parent? (cuz they don't need the same things from both of ya!)

Wow, did I go on and on?  Don't answer that!   

January 2011