Saturday, January 15, 2011

In Faith....

In Faith, 
I am packing my whole house. 
In faith, 
I am telling my children that we will move in June after school is out.
In faith, 
I am accumulating baby things,
with the assumption that all will be well and baby will be born healthy and on time.
In faith, 
I am giving my daughter "scary" medicines in hopes that they will improve her quality of life.
In faith, 
I move about my day intentionally. 
I am moving towards a goal that is unknown and uncertain. 
It is ridiculous to Assume we will get a great job straight out of seminary. 
In this economy, who are we kidding?
(God specializes in the ridiculous.)
In faith, I stand, the plan is God's. 
the chore to follow through is mine. 
LET'S GO GET 'UM!!
(can you tell they are still asleep as I write?)
January 2011 

The Power of Relationship

The power of relationship is the dividing line. 
Do you think you have the "right" to say certain things to certain people, 
Just because, you have a certain kind of relationship with them?
I can say "you stink, you need a shower" to certain people.
But if I said that to others, they would be offended. 
Relationship matters. 
Can we trust God?
YES. 
Is it easy to trust God?
NO.
What is the role of relationship in this trust/ease factor?
If we have a consistent relationship with God, 
Then it is easier to say "I don't trust that this will be OK". 
And, guess what?
God understands that. 
He does not condemn us for "oh, ye of little faith" moments.
However, if we do not have a consistent relationship with HIM, 
It is much easier for us to fall into the category of:
"I don't trust"
and mean it. 
Thus spiraling into the depths of despair. 
The only thing that keeps us afloat is THAT relationship. 
How is my relationship with God right now?
Do I trust HIM enough to say "I am having trouble trusting you?"
and KNOW firmly that HIS plan is big enough?
January 2011

Pain?

What is Pain?
What is painful to me vs, what is painful for you?
How much pain is good to share?
vs. How much pain shall we "endure" alone?
My heart is breaking for some friends. 
Is their pain worse or more important than my pain?
Do I "dwell" in their pain to escape the pain in my own world?
The comment:  
"Don't worry, everything will be fine. Give it to God"
Does that just cover it and now it is over?
If we pretend like it does not exist,
Then, is it still happening, is it still real?
If we become overtaken by fear,
are we less of a Christian?
Do we have less faith?
In the quiet moments in the middle of the night, 
who reigns?
Shall we let our minds wander to the point of exhaustion?
Or do we go straight to the source of all comfort?
IMMEDIATELY.
January 2011


Sunday, January 09, 2011

30 weeks and counting

When can you start counting down, instead of UP?
Our prayer is to make it to 37 without any baby growth problems.
We wish for baby's umbilical cord to grow adequately to sustain the needs of baby until 40 weeks.

Anti-Equality

I have always been "anti-equality."
What does that mean to me?
Well, I am not sure when it started really. It may be as far back as childhood to some degree. It may be a more recent, college, newly married, experienced thought. I am just not sure. 
I do know that our experience as houseparents of "under achieving, high potential" (read: troubled) teenagers in the Dominican Republic has changed, reformed or solidified my belief systems. 
We had SO MANY parents say things like: "I don't know what happened. We treated all our kids the same and his/her siblings are not on this path to destruction"!! 
The program in the DR was centered around a new approach: INDIVIDUALIZED "treatment/care".  Go figure, they are individual teens with individual personalities and problems that come from individual backgrounds and have individual paths in life. 

In general, America is a very Individualistic country. 
We tend to think as one person, separate from everyone else. This is why I think equality is so strange in America. 
Most countries are more "community", communal. Villages are held together by the bond they share as a family or group of families. Villages are held together by the common good and the common crops and the common beliefs and the common "religion". 
In America, we all want to be Different and at the same time we all want to be "just like our group of friends". Yet our parents and extended families "treat us the same" as the other sibling/cousins, and expect our lives to turn out "the same". 
My goal is not to "fuss". But to figure out how to be a "better parent" to each of my INDIVIDUAL children. 
My equality issues have been on my mind during this holiday break as I have interacted with my children in different settings. Mackenzie (MJ) is in 2nd grade, learning to read and to be independent, 8 1/2 years old and a FEMALE. Luke is in Kinder and learning to argue the finer points of details and pretends he can read. He is almost 6 (aaaahhhh!) and all BOY. Mason (MW) is all of barely 2 and speaks very clearly what he does and does not want, in complete sentences and mostly complete thoughts. And all BOY. 
Now, I know the two older ones are "different gender" so that makes things different for me. But, *"?does an 8 yo girl and a 5 yo boy need to eat the same quantity of the same foods?"
*"Is it possible for one to need a snack to simply 'survive' the day? and a snack would 'ruin' dinner for the other one?" 
*"Is it not obvious that the little guy needs different 'amounts' of Christmas candy than the other older two?" *"does one need a nap? the other a 'rest'? and the other 'alone-time'?"
 *"does one need allergy medicine or glasses or antibiotics or more rest or less quiet time...?"

How can we treat our children "the same"? and get different outcomes. 

Now, men and women. 
Did God make men and women equal?  and by "equal" what does that really mean?
Should women get paid the same as men for doing the same work?
Is it possible for women to sustain the same level of Physical labor as a man?
What was God's plan when he made us Man and Woman?  If we were the same, then why would we need each other?

 It is our responsibility as parents to learn what EACH child needs and then apply it to the relationship. MJ NEEDS quiet time (alone time).  She gets overwhelmed and begins to "crisis". Alone-time is the "medicine" for this.  Luke is always ready to play with someone, however, if he does not get a few (15) minutes of "downtime" in the day, by evening he is "crabby". We are still working on figuring out Mason but he does have a very good "nap" or "crib time, lights out" during the middle of the day. Too much TV makes them all "lethargic". And a firm "go play" (as in leave me out of it), is very easy for MJ and very difficult for L. 
(he is learning.) 

I need my alone time. (Like alone, w/o kids too. This does not happen often). My hubby needs to "talk it out". (about everything...drives me nuts).
I don't mind stepping over the toys in the hallway. Jeremy steps ON them. I Require many hours of consecutive sleep. Hubby can 'run' on just a few. 
Just like we MUST learn what we, as parents/people, NEED to function, so too we must learn what our children need for them to grow up to be the persons God intended them to be. 

What makes you "tick"?  What do you need to survive the stresses of daily life?
What is your "hobby", your "get away"?
Now, what makes each one of your special children "tick"? What do they need to survive the stresses of family/school/siblings life?  What is it that they need from you as a parent?  and more than just that, what does each one need from EACH parent? (cuz they don't need the same things from both of ya!)

Wow, did I go on and on?  Don't answer that!   
January 2011





 

Latest Sonogram

I assume that since my January 4th sonogram,
I have not heard anything from the doctor office:
*everything is fine
*doc it too busy
*or out of the office
*everything is fine. 
So, I will go with the best possible outcome, 
Everything must be fine. 
My powers of deduction and experience with 
sonogram technology leads me to believe:
The "report" page on the cd-r says,
Baby is measuring one week smaller than "date".
This is consistent with the previous sono, 
at that time, baby measured one week smaller than "date". 
So, baby is growing consistently, 
and just "IS" one week smaller than the calendar 
says "average" should be. 
I do make smaller babies. 
NOW<
my prayer is:
*continued consistent growth
*that we "make it" to full term
*that he position himself correctly soon
*that my knee stop getting swollen
(we will worry about genes and genetics later)
God has blessed us. 
Thank you Lord for getting us this far. 
January 2011
(wow! that was fun date to write)