As I am in pain, struggling through my day, I have had lots of time to think. I have been thinking of all the people I know with "invisible chronic diseases". I have been thinking of those with chronic pain. I have been thinking of people with no health care (no political statements here). I have been thinking of all the days of countless blessings God has given me. I have been thinking of the great year of pretty good health my family has had this past year. I have been thinking of the family friends we know with children with cancer! Oh, Lord, Bless them.
I sat down to my computer in my lazy, I don't want to do anything, read FB moments, and I opened a friend's blog. It was titled "Just me". She states she is lots of things to lots of people but here in this blog she is "just her". I began to think, "who am I?" I don't know who I am. Just me. Who am I? I don't know what I do in my spare time. I don't know what my hobbies are. I don't know what my favorite movie is. I don't know what my favorite book is. I feel a little lost.
I know, I know, I know, I know, I have a husband (who has pneumonia right now, by the way. Dude! I have shingles, could you have waited until I was done being sick before you started getting pneumonia, please!) I have a 10 yo (next week), I have a 7 yo, I have a 3 yo, I have a 1 yo, I have chores, I have responsibilities, I have people who count on me. I have plenty to DO. I am always busy. But I wonder, is there more to ME?
I sound so selfish. I am me. I am all those things. But I can't answer the basic questions. I don't read--so what books do I like? --well, I have no idea. I don't go to the movies--so how do I know what is on these days? I don't Pinterest. I don't do art. I don't do crafts. I don't cook/bake (when not required to do so). I don't go shopping. I don't go on "girl time" dates. My room is a mess and it bothers me. I clean the entire house but not my room.
So, here I go.... I embark on a mission..... I shall find myself. Please pray I find myself close by. I don't want to get lost out there in the scary world. Please post on here or FB any good SMALL project to try or books to read, (make the books fun and SHORT, library or borrowed). Ask me any questions that I might need to answer in order to find myself. I will try. I will.
I do like to write. But I don't ever do that either. I like to speak on Missions. I like to speak about parenting. I like to encourage. Hum, we might be on to something............................
July 2, 2012
